Just talked to Cindy

Well, we just had another conversation with Cindy, the birthmother. Ben got to join us this time which was really important to her. :) We got some insight to her situation and what she is thinking...it was really helpful for us to see why she is choosing adoption. She did have an ultrasound today. They changed her due date from 11/1 to 12/2...She thinks she is going to have to have a repeat c-section, but she forgot to ask the doctor when she was in on Monday. She said that the baby was moving all over and he is definitely still a boy! :) She also said that she would like us to be at the hospital for the birth. Everything is going great! :)

Emily

I've been a really bad blogger....

Ok, so I've been horrible...BUT, I'll try to be better...as most everyone knows on September 1, 2009 our lives changed for the better! I'm going to start at the beginning................



I was out getting Luke off the bus, and normally, I take my cell phone and my book...just in case I get a phone call (which rarely happens). This day, I forgot to take my phone out with me...and it could have been a bad thing. After I got Luke off the bus, I started cooking dinner (pork chops, rice, asparagus and salad). Something told me to check my cell phone...I had a missed call. Weird, but I figured it was my mom (LOVE YOU, MOM!!! :)). When I checked, it was the adoption agency....I figured that they were calling because Ben's physical had "expired" and they were going to tell me that we needed to get it to them asap. I called, and ask for Rosalind, the SW at out Texas office, and she asked if I was sitting down....I said, "no, should I be?" She said, "maybe...you've been chosen by a birth mother!" I pretty much lost all ability to hear at that point...LOL...but I remember her saying that I needed to talk to Colleen, who would be our SW for the rest of the time..........



A little about our birth mother...her name is Cindy, she's 24 years old. She's got 2 kids already. She has a 7 year old and a little girl who was born in January 2009. If you go through my blog, you'll see that the reason that I was apprehensive about domestic adoption was because I was afraid we wouldn't be chosen because we have Luke...well, that's the reason that we were PICKED! Since she has a 7 year old and he loves having a baby sister, she thought that Luke would love having a baby! I'm so glad Luke is one of the reasons she picked us...and I'm not even sure how to explain why. :) Another reason she liked us was because she liked that I work part-time from home during nap/bedtime.



When we talked to the SW, she gave us the due date of 11/27 and gave us the news that she was giving birth to a little BOY! :) So not only were we chosen, we knew we were having a boy and he was due in less than 3 MONTHS!! We were SO happy!!! :) The SW told us we'd be getting Cindy's paperwork and medical records overnight to us, asap...so we waited...We received them and read through them (actually, more like obsessed over them). I took her medical records to my OB/GYN to review. Everything looked great! We called the agency back on 9/4 to accept the case...Now the hard part waiting!

Once we'd accepted, I was obsessing some more over the paperwork, and noticed that the due date given by her doctor was 11/1...Cindy said originally it was 11/27...a bit of a difference, and concerning because she is going to have a repeat c-section. If she had the c-section 1 week before the 11/1 due date, the baby COULD be born 5 weeks before his due date (if it really is the 27th...) Are you following me? LOL. So she's having another ultrasound to confirm the due date and assess the baby...

I'll really try to do better about updating this!!!

Emily :)

Today's events...

So today is the day...we sent all of our paperwork, our portfolio, and a huge chunk of cash into the adoption agency in Texas. Our social worker in Ohio has been given a few changes that need to be made to our homestudy. When I spoke to the agency in Texas, she said as soon as they receive our paperwork, portfolio & money they will start showing our profile to prospective birth mothers. Things are starting to heat up, and we're hoping that things move quickly & smoothly. I emailed with the agency in Texas, and she said that since we are open to race, it will probably be shorter than 6 months, but could be up to one year. A YEAR! I think it's finally sunk in that this is happening, and possibly quickly! :) I'll try to do better with my updates now that things are starting to move.

More to come...

The portfolio is done & printed!

After my mom & I did the portfolio, I had to work up the courage to take it to FedEx/Kinkos to have it copied....I was so scared! But I did it. When I went to pick it up on Monday, it looked HORRIBLE! I refused to take it. I was so disappointed, I even considered just picking it up and making 3 more of the same thing...by hand. But Ben told me "no" and to have them try again. We went and picked it up today...Ben went with me. It looks much better, and they gave it to us for FREE! Yeah! It should have been well over $50 to have it printed and bound, but since they screwed up, we got if free. :)

Also, our homestudy is done. I mailed the check to the agency in Ohio so they could send it to the agency in Texas! All we have to do is go to the notary tomorrow to get some stuff notarized, and get more fingerprints. Something I've been thinking about...if I get arrested, I get my fingerprints taken "free" but if I want to help a child have a better life, I need to pay $5 per person/per card to have fingerprints, THEN I need to pay $48.xx each person to have them checked out! Are you kidding me? So annoying. But we'll have to do that early next week, so I can get it all in the mail. We'll be sending a big chunk of cash then, too...But they'll be showing our portfolio to Birthmothers! It's scary & exciting all at the same time!

More later..

The latest...

There's been movement on the adoption front!! Over the weekend, my mom and I put together our portfolio. At first, it was very stressful for us, but once we got going, we did great. I, personally, think it looks wonderful! :) We had fun, and it looks "bright & cheery" which were the requirements. I hope it's "bright & cheery" enough for us to be chosen my a birthmother. So, now I have to get a scrapbook and make copies of it to send to the agency.

Also, our social worker in Ohio (we have one in Ohio for our homestudy and one in TX at the agency), sent us a list of things we would and wouldn't consider in an adopted child. This form is also for foster parents to fill out, in terms of who they want to allow into their home...So after printing out FIVE pages, all the pages have TWO columns of "disorders" or "issues" that you have to say will consider or will not consider. Holy cow. Really. I can't even tell you how horrible of a person it makes you feel saying you wouldn't accept a child with some of the things listed, but I can't imagine taking in a child that is terminally ill or has been jailed for rape, crime using a weapon, MURDER...seriously? How many people check will consider to these? Fortunately, I emailed the social worker, and she said that they aren't going to use THIS checklist to match us to a child in TX. Also, when we do get chosen by a birthmother, we have the choice of whether or not we want to accept or decline the baby. We'll get her medical records and decide if it's the right fit for us.

I'll update again, soon...

Another update...:)

I'm getting better! :) So my latest update...after meeting with the social worker, we called the agency with a few questions. Being the "sales" rep that I am...I pulled a "Ben" and asked her if we paid half of the big chunk (the agency fee) that they need to start showing our profile, would they be willing to show it...if we committed to getting the other half to them when Ben gets his bonus...She said YES! So, I've got to get the profile done & the dear Birthmother letter (which is still causing anxiety)...I'll also be calling the references that they sent me, but I'm nervous about that, too. I don't like the "unknown," can you tell???? I think I'll do it while Ben's home, so we can do a 3-way call and both ask the questions and get the answers. I think things are often lost in translation. So, we're off an running. Right now, I've got to finish paperwork, I did the taxes so we could send those in, get the profile done, and do the dear Birthmother letter...Doesn't sound like too much...

I'll keep you updated...:)

The social worker visit...

Look at me...2 updates in about a week! I promised I'd be better. :) So, Johnna, our social worker, came for a visit Saturday. She's SUPER nice, and we've got a great rapport. She, THANKFULLY, gets Ben & Luke's sense of humor. She cracks up at Luke...LOL. So, anyway...she asked us a bunch of questions about our house (per the homestudy requirements), she asked us what we do when we fight (which I'm surprised didn't come out earlier), and if we went to church. Luke was sitting there when she asked that...We KNOW we need to go, but the thought of finding a church we like is so daunting that it just hasn't happened...yet. It will. I promise, we need to do it. So, Luke pipes up with, "No, we don't go to church because we don't want the pressure, and we have a Super Bowl Party tomorrow!" WHAT?!?!?!?!!? Ben & I just looked at each other, Johnna started cracking up, Luke just was as serious as could be...She also asked Luke where our "meeting place" was in case of a fire...As he continued to play with his playdoh at the table and not answer her, Ben & I looked at each other in a panic. I KNEW we talked about this, repeatedly, after he went to Safety Town...but would he remember??? Finally, he looked up and said, "We'll all meet at the mailbox, when we're all there, we'll cross the street to Miss Kathy's house." Ah...it stuck! We were both very proud of him!

Our next task is doing the "dear Birthmother" letter...which I'm having a REALLY hard time with and our portfolio which they give the birthmothers to look at while choosing a family. I feel like at this point it's so real, and it makes me nervous...the questions start coming...what if we don't get picked? what if no one likes us? what if she changes her mind? I'm working on my positive attitude. The social worker reassured us we'll do fine...:) We'll "look great on paper." So, now the tricky part...making that happen. We're also waiting on a couple of forms from Johnna and the agency to fill out and Ben's bonus...UGH. I'm hoping & praying that it will be here March 15, NOT March 31...the sooner the better...I'd love to have everything in by the time we go on vacation in March...That would make for a RELAXING one...:)

More later...

Updating from under the snow...

Ok, so we aren't UNDER the snow, but it sure feels like it! We have around 12 inches on the ground. We usually get missed by storms, but this year, it seems like we've been hit a lot! Mostly just the light stuff, but it still needs shoveled. :(

As for the adoption...we've got the social worker scheduled to come out on 1/31 at 3:00pm. She'll be able to changing our international homestudy into a domestic one. I spoke to the agency in Texas today, and they're so nice! Rosalind (the social worker in TX) was really helpful! :) We have our application in and it was received...I forgot to add photos of our house & our floorplan so I am sending those out tomorrow. Besides that, we're just filling out more paperwork. We have lots of filling out still to do, but it's easy stuff. We're praying that this goes fast!

I'll update again soon! :)

An update after a hiatus...

Ok, so I've been told by several people that I haven't been very good at keeping my blog current...I know...but when I type things out, it makes them seem real. Sometimes, I don't want to deal with reality. We'll start with something that has very little to do with me, but it's a happy note just the same! I'm an Aunt again! Yeah! My sister had a baby girl on December 8 (could it have been any closer to MY birthday???) 7lbs 2oz, 4 weeks early...Olivia Joan (pronounced Joanne). She spent some time in the NICU because the little stinker would hold her breath, but she's home now and thriving...and working on the sleeping thru the night...

On the adoption front...are you ready for more indecisiveness from the Stephen family? We'll here it goes...We found an agency in Texas (San Antonio) that has an immediate need for families willing to adopt full Hispanic babies. Since, originally, we were going to go with Guatemala, we were planning on adopting a full Hispanic baby...we're going to change agencies. We're awaiting the paperwork and information from them. I spoke to the Director on Wednesday, and she was SO nice and really willing to talk to me about my questions and their procedures. I know you may thing, "Of course she's going to be nice...she wants to be chosen..." But trust me, I've talked to more than one agency that hasn't been friendly AT ALL! I immediately rule them out, because I'll be dealing with them for a LONG time, even after the baby is home...we'll be in contact with them about certain things. So...right now we have an email in to our Social Worker, and we are hoping she can come visit us again to change our homestudy from International to Domestic. I hear it's not that difficult, but they still want $600 for it...which is annoying. Oh well.

I know at the beginning of this journey I was so against domestic adoption for fear they wouldn't pick us because we have Luke, our biological son...but I've been told otherwise by so many people. I'm excited about domestic now because I'll know that this baby (boy or girl) will be loved from the minute it is born, and I'll know what it is being fed, the attention it'll get, etc. With adopting a child from an orphanage, you never know how they were treated, etc. We're excited to be able to give a baby the same things we were able to give Luke, right from the start, and that's important to us.

So there you have it...I promise I'll update more often, now that we have a really exciting plan ahead of us...:)